Thoughts from Pastor Stan

Sermon Notes

Bonding II

September 27, 2009

PASSING OF THE PEACE

SCRIPTURE: Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and family are born to share in adversity.

QUESTION: Is it easy or difficult to make new friends?

SUMMARY OF PREVIOUS WEEKS

PURPOSE OF LIFE: Relationships

A. with God

1. with others
2. with self

RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE:

1. GRACE
2. TRUTH
3. TIME

INTRO

The Bible was written to be obeyed and not simply studied.

That's like being deserted on a desert island with a book on how to build a boat and reading it over and over and knowing it backward and forwarding and even knowing the contradictions, but never failing to lift a hammer to begin the building process.

INTRO TO SCRIPTURE

Paul is informing the followers of Christ, that since they are no longer captive to sin (represented through baptism), have been raised into new life. The old life, dulls the thinking process and caused them to be held captive to their former behavior; but now, in christ, they are new creatures. Discarding the old self and putting on the new self.

SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 4:17 - 24

Now this I affirm and insist on in the Lord: you must no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their minds.

NOTE: the christian is not to imitate the life of the non-christian.

WHY?

18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of their ignorance and hardness of heart.

NOTE: Plato’s Cave

Christians think differently. Have different values

Becoming a christian is to experience a transformation.

A change of perspective, a change of relationship,

Don't believe me? TEST IT

Attend lots of funerals

Observe. One will begin to pick-up on how to live life

One may begin to experience what is important

What really matters: RELATIONSHIPS

1. Relationships with God
2. Relationships with members within the church

and outside of the church

POINT: There is a big difference between those who believe in God

and those who don't

AUGUSTINE REVISITED

Augustine reminds us that we are created with a need or a shape within us that is empty and can only be filled by God. When it is not filled by God, we attempt to fill it with other things. (THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT, RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD)

It is also the same with our need for others, especially the others that can only be experienced within the church (fellowship) the 2nd Greatest commandment (RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS and the New Commandment)

19 They have lost all sensitivity and have abandoned themselves to licentiousness, greedy to the practice every kind of impurity. 20 That is not the way you learned Christ! 21 For surely you have heard about him and were taught in him, as truth is in Jesus. 22 You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, 23 and to be renewed in the spirt of your minds, 24 and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

POINT

When we become a disciple, (Last Week)

1. a commitment to certain beliefs (doctrine);
2. a commitment to a way of life (ethics);
3. a commitment to a relationship to God/others (transformation)

US

When we fail to bond with others there can be three stages:

1. PROTEST (our lack of relationships: there is an awareness that "Houston we have a problem" if this continues

2. DESPAIR and depression (our hope begins to evaporate/wilt/ebb for possible relationships)

3. DETACHMENT - "I am a Rock" Simon and Garfunkel

SYMPTOMS OF FAILURE TO BOND

Sometimes when people don’t bond, they can experience:

1. Depression
2. Feelings of Meaninglessness
3. Feelings of Badness and Guilt
4. Addiction
5. Distorted Thinking
6. Emptiness
7. Sadness
8. Fear of Intimacy
9. Feelings of Unreality
10. Panic
11. Rage
12. Excessive Care taking
13. Fantasy

BARRIERS TO BONDING

A. Past Injury (“I am an Island”)

1. Distorted Thinking

i. Our View of Ourselves

ii. Our View of Others

iii. Our View of Go

INGREDIENTS TO BOND (FRIENDSHIP) (“What are the ingredients?”)

1. Realize the Need
2. Move Toward Others (fish where the fish are)
3. Be Vulnerable
4. Challenge Distorted Thinking
5. Take Risks
6. Pray and Meditate
7. Be Empathic
8. Rely on the Holy Sprit
9. Say Yes to Life

EXAMPLE: (David & Jonathan)

INTRO TO I SAMUEL 17

Remember that Sunday School lesson about David and Goliath (I Samuel 17)?

The story continues with David being brought before King Saul (I Samuel 18)

King Saul was so pleased with David, that he made him part of his “family.”

The son of King Saul, his name is Jonathan.

Jonathan bonds with David through a covenant

and they establish one of the great friendships of the stories in the Bible.

SCRIPTURE: I SAMUEL 18

1 When David had finished speaking to Saul the soul of Jonathan was bond to the sol of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

NOTE: This is the exact phrase found in Genesis 44:30 regarding Jacob and Benjamin where it shows the intimate connection between father and son; here it is between friends (Bonding).

2 Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house.

3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

4 Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.

NOTE: This transfer of clothing is symbolic of the transfer or the relinquishing Jonathan’s right to the throne.

POINT: When we bond with another, we give something to the other that we don’t give to any other(s) that represents the CONNECTION we have with the other.

SCRIPTURE: John 15: 13

Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

POINT

The greatest act, or the greatest thing we can give to our friend is our own life.

POINT

David and Jonathan provide us with an example of friendship. Theirs was a relationship of loyalty, trust and support.

QUESTION

this story may lead us to ask the question: What kind of friend am I?

OBSERVATION

A true friend is one who, during our darkest hours, offers hope, encourage and support. Our emotional stability is predicated on wether or not we have someone who is willing to stand with us (GRACE) and sometimes behind us to push (TRUTH) over the hUmp of despair.

CHALLENGE

This is the kind of friend we alL ought to strive to be.