Thoughts from Pastor Stan

Sermon Notes

Boundaries II

October 18, 2009

CHILDREN’S MESSAGE (Katherine)

Object Lesson: Jack-o-lantern

Point: Jesus cleans out all the disgusting stuff and puts a light in us

Question: Why is there disgusting stuff in there? The result of some choices?

CALL TO WORSHIP

You know you are having a bad day,

When the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard

OPENING PRAYER

Lord, the buzzards are circling. And, they are not flying south for the winter.

They are waiting to feed upon our infirmities. Send help. amen.

INTRO

Do you know anyone who is having one of those days?

People may avoid them like the plague?

Or worse yet, they’re circling because of the easy pickin’s.

IN THE NEWS

Are there any examples?

Thursday Night, Dodger Stadium, Joe Toree left the pitcher in when he was tired and 5 runs scored. Where the buzzards circling the next day?

Notre Dame vs USC: Interviewer & the coach (Charlie Weis)

“how do you feel?” (that poor guy) “He has never beaten USC”

IN THE SCRIPTURES:

Are there any examples?

Luke 7:36? (woman who anoints Jesus) the eyes were upon her

(Job) the eyes of his “friends” were upon him

(Jonah) the eyes of himself were upon him

US

Have you ever experienced a moment, that when you enter the room, all eyes are upon you? Your world is crumbling and the buzzards are circling? (Harper Valley PTA moment). Some people have the gift of being a predator. Do you know any buzzards? They can smell death. They wait upon our lifeless lives to fall to the ground. There the ones that like to kick people when they are down? And when we are down, we may sometimes wonder why we ever befriended them? Unfortunately sometimes these buzzards are family members. They are like buzzards circling above our heads. And they are family members, not respecting the no-fly zone of the sanctuary of family and relationship and home.

PROBLEM

No matter how fortunate you are. No matter how much money you have and how big your house is and how cool your car is, we don’t have protection against the oncoming CRISIS and the buzzards who feast upon our “infirmities.”

Science tells us our world is decaying (entropy).

GOOD NEWS

If you are here this morning and your world makes no sense and your world is crumbling. And like Humpty Dumpty there are broken pieces everywhere. And the buzzards are waiting to feast upon the pieces and crumbs; the GOOD NEWS is that you don’t have to be one that crumbs. You can regain control of your world.

INTRO TO SCRIPTURE

Purpose in Life: RELATIONSHIP

Method: LOVE DRIVEN

PASSING OF THE PEACE

SCRIPTURE: Matthew 6:21 Where your heart is, so is your treasure

QUESTION: Where is your treasure?

What is the most important thing in your life?

SCRIPTURE: Matthew 6:24

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

POINT: The purpose of life is RELATIONSHIP.

Not relationship to material things (not the size of your bank roll,

home, car; but the size of your heart)

It is GOD and OTHERS that are the treasure in our lives.

QUESTION: This passage forces the question:

What is the most important thing in your life?

As important this question is, I sometimes wonder if I refrain from putting to much serious energy into answering it. Sure, I can answer it with the proper answer, but what really is the real answer? If I am going to be authentic about my life, do i trust that I know what is the most important thing in my life? How would i even determine the answer? How would i know if i am deceiving myself?

Perhaps an indicator of the most important thing in my life is to ask those who observe my life. Maybe they know what is the most important thing in my life through observing my actions. do my actions proclaim what is truly important to me? Can one look at you and they know what is the most important thing in my life?

What in particular about my actions indicate the important thing in my life? Is through an observation of how I devote my resources (time, energy and money) to the most important thing in life? Is it how i choose to spend most of my time? Do i spend any time reflecting on the most important? Or, what do i spend most of my time reflecting on?

Wouldn't it be a bummer to live one's life thinking that the most important thing in one's life is one particular thing and then discovering at the end of one's life, that one was not truly devoted to it after all?

SCRIPTURE TO PONDER

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:21

OBSERVATION: I spend my resources on my treasure (my heart is spent on it).

POINT: God is to be our treasure.

MOVIE: Treasure of Sierra Madre

SYNOPSIS: Bogart was down on his luck (“Fellow american” a meal?)

Old Prospector convinced him to go after the treasure (gold)

Question: How much is “enough?”

4th Prospector forced the issue

Killed in the “stinky badges” scene

Letter (4th) in his pocket from his wife convincing him to come home from prospecting: “we already found life’s real treasure”

IN THE END, Bogart was (acting out of character?) and was willing to kill a stranger, a friend(s). His paranoia led to his demise (death)

Because of his “treasure” it impacted his decision making process (& acted out of character)

QUESTION: Where the buzzards circling?

What did Bogart focus on? What was his treasure? ($)

What happened in the end?

Did he need “Stinky Badges”?

QUESTION: What is your treasure of Sierra Madre?

What are you willing to die for?

What’s your focus/goal/primary purpose?

Core Values?

But what about our question this morning:

PASSING OF THE PEACE

What do you do when the buzzards are circling?

QUESTION: Do you act out of character when the buzzards are circling?

Or, do you remain true to yourself?

QUESTION: When the buzzards were circling what did you do?

What gave you relief?

Where was God? Where were your friends?

BOGART Vs MOTHER THERESA

Mother Theresa focused on God and others (Mt 25: 31 -46)

QUESTION: DOES A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

HELP US WHEN THE BUZZARDS ARE CIRCLING?

POINT: Matthew 6: 21 & 24; help us to focus on what is most important:

Our Relationship with God

We are to keep our focus on God, no matter what.

Even when the buzzards are circling and life is unbearable

QUESTION: If the greatest Commandment helps us when the buzzards are circling how about the second?

QUESTION: Does having a good relationship with others, help us when the buzzards are circling?

QUESTION: Does having a good relationship with the self, help us when the buzzards are circling?

If we do not have good boundaries, then our identity is vulnerable to vultures. People will tend to define who we are; instead of us defining who we are. When others define us and we abide by their definition; then the problem may arise that we will be over extended. When we are over extended it leads to too many irons in the fire which can lead to burnout.

Burnout sometimes is the result of our own choices. Choices that are the result of being defined by others and not our self. When burnout hits, we are no use to ourselves and others. With the continuation of burnout we may feel like a corpse, dead to the world. When this happens, the vultures come.

POINT: We can avoid some of the reasons the buzzards circle if we maintain good boundaries by keeping first things first and focusing on our primary purpose. This helps us to develop good boundaries.

EXAMPLE OF GOOD BOUNDARIES

SCRIPTURE: Acts 6

In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. 2 So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. 3 Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them 4 and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

5 This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. 6 They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.

7 So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.

QUESTION: What would have happened if they didn’t? If they allowed the request of the Grecian Jews and they complied with their request and over looked the widows.

POINT: The Apostles knew who they were. They knew their “Job” (Ministry & Life) Description. as much as they wanted to say “yes” they said “no” because their purpose, their gaol was to remain in relationship with God and their purpose as apostles (teaching).

SCRIPTURE: I Corinthians 12 - all ministries (jobs) are important

QUESTION: have you ever been placed in the situation like the apostles, the need is great, but you are force either to remain in harmony with your ultimate purpose or abandon that ultimate purpose and follow after secondary important needs?

TO REMAIN TRUE TO YOUR SELF - You must KNOW THYSELF

and to maintain those BOUNDARIES

SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO KNOW THYSELF & MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES

1. Know Thyself

Become aware of who you are. What are your feelings? Thoughts? Why do you respond that way (example: if you say “yes” but not receiving enough accolades and as a result become angry; are you aware of your motives?)

Challenge: Keep aware of how often you are angry this week and ask: why?

Scripture: Proverbs 15:22 “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Enlist a friend(s) who can with GRACE and TRUTH and is willing to invest the time to help you to know thyself.

2. Define Yourself

One tool is a Mission & Vision Statement that defines your purpose. This purpose is rooted in what one values. The apostles had a mission statement this helps with our decision making, when to say “yes” (who you are) and when to say “no” (who you are not). This is one way to develop the “no” muscle that is extremely important not to over extend (Acts 6:?). Know your limits (resources). One cannot have and do it all.

1. Stop Blaming Others & Playing the Victim

No one is making you. The lack of knowing thyself and an undeveloped mission statement allows ourselves to become vulnerable to the winds of others. It is our responsibility to take charge of ourselves (to be proactive and not reactive). This requires an intense honesty.

POINT: Work the plan

CHALLENGE

To have the kind of relationship with God and others that will walk with you when the buzzards are circling.